A new word wanders into articles and discourse: gaslighting.
What does gaslighting mean and what do we mean when we talk about gaslighting?
Gaslighting is not a mental illness but rather a form of psychological manipulation.
The word goes back to a 1938 play “Gas Light,” from which a film was later made, titled “Anguish,” in which the main character makes his wife believe that everything he perceives, such as the increase or decrease in intensity
of gas lighting, is false, thus operating against her a real psychological abuse that brings the woman into a dimension of total insecurity and madness.
One of the unique features of fibromyalgia is the specific areas of the body that hurt when pressed. Healthy people would only feel the pressure exerted on their muscles. The symptom of pain is generally experienced by all patients.
Since traditionally no laboratory test or X-ray can confirm a diagnosis of fibromyalgia, one might think that the pain is not real but rather “present in their head.” Today the medical world recognizes the reality of fibromyalgia pain.
Research advances the hypothesis that pain may be caused by a problem in the body’s perception of pain.
So when we talk about gaslighting we are referring to a subtle, but no less terrible, form of psychological and emotional abuse that takes place when someone who is granted affective authority (a parent, friend, partner) or real authority (a professor, boss, etc.) systematically challenges the beliefs, perceptions and memories of another who is emotionally dependent on him or her.
Why do people sometimes use gaslighting modes?
These manipulative behaviors are not always conscious; sometimes they are used to deflect attention to issues that do not negatively involve the subject, suggesting another person’s fault or responsibility.
Gaslighting thus encompasses a range of behaviors that have as their goal to maintain power over the other, denying reality, accusing him of misremembering, misunderstanding, misperception, etc.; ultimately of over-sensitivity, confusion or insanity.
The person may then begin to doubt his perceptions, his memories, his feelings–a little by little his perception of himself and his stability is undermined. Doubt, guilt, need to repair or escape from anxious situations then take over.
Gaslighting can always occur in relationships where there is no balance of power between the partners. In this sense, even in the doctor-patient relationship when the doctor does not listen to what the patient has to say to him or her and, out of incompetence or a defensive attitude, does not give him or her the credit that should be given to someone who, as a sick person, certainly has specific expertise.
What can be done? Question whether there is willfulness and bad faith on the part of those who enact gaslighting behaviors.
This makes a difference: in one case clear boundaries are to be established and one must, even making it explicit, seek greater clarity of communication; in the other, perhaps a proper distance must be established.
